vacant moon windbreaker, cheap monday jeans, max star store platform sneakers
i've had these photos for a month now and i've never posted them. i haven't taken any new photos of myself for quite some time now. luckily, i had some left over outfits like this one. although, i'm not really into what i'm wearing in these shots, the photos remind me of something.
it's the first of the year and this is when people start talking about how they're going to change their lives and make promises to themselves to kick bad habits. people talk about how this is "going to be their year." i never feel any different on january first than i did on december thirty-first. i have a pessimistic attitude towards life in general but i'm trying to change that. i'm trying to put myself first for the first time in my entire life. i want to do things for myself to make myself happy instead of making other people proud. its very basic. learning how to be "shevah", whatever that is, on my own. it's a conclusion i was forced to come to, after my five year relationship came to a halt. i don't particularly enjoy talking about specific things in my life on my blog, but, it's nearly been a month and i consider people who read my blog to be my friends. plus, i'm sure if you read my ridiculous twitter, then i assume you have already figured this out. my point is that i've been down in the dumps enough times in my life and i'm going to try (TRY TRY TRY) to keep my head up and to do all the things that i've stopped myself from doing because i was afraid of failure. i gave myself enough time to be sad and now i'm giving myself time to find happiness in solitude and solitude in happiness.