the first.
vacant moon windbreaker, cheap monday jeans, max star store platform sneakers
i've had these photos for a month now and i've never posted them. i haven't taken any new photos of myself for quite some time now. luckily, i had some left over outfits like this one. although, i'm not really into what i'm wearing in these shots, the photos remind me of something.
it's the first of the year and this is when people start talking about how they're going to change their lives and make promises to themselves to kick bad habits. people talk about how this is "going to be their year." i never feel any different on january first than i did on december thirty-first. i have a pessimistic attitude towards life in general but i'm trying to change that. i'm trying to put myself first for the first time in my entire life. i want to do things for myself to make myself happy instead of making other people proud. its very basic. learning how to be "shevah", whatever that is, on my own. it's a conclusion i was forced to come to, after my five year relationship came to a halt. i don't particularly enjoy talking about specific things in my life on my blog, but, it's nearly been a month and i consider people who read my blog to be my friends. plus, i'm sure if you read my ridiculous twitter, then i assume you have already figured this out. my point is that i've been down in the dumps enough times in my life and i'm going to try (TRY TRY TRY) to keep my head up and to do all the things that i've stopped myself from doing because i was afraid of failure. i gave myself enough time to be sad and now i'm giving myself time to find happiness in solitude and solitude in happiness.
I've been struggling to find the words to describe how i feel on this New Year but i think you've just said them perfectly and much more elegantly than i ever could.
ReplyDeletehttp://oflambsandlace.blogspot.com
this is my life too. i don't know why people even follow me on twitter im such a pathetic whinny bitch. but i'm definitely trying to change for the better it's my life and i shouldn't let myself down.
ReplyDeletegood luck to you and i xxx
<3
ReplyDeleteI know this pain. I spent so much time mourning over lost relationships, and have spent the past four and a half years basically on my own. You've got to learn how to love yourself and figure out who you are before you can start anything with anyone else again. It will take time, but I promise you things will get better. It will be good to have time to focus on yourself and really figure out what it is YOU want to do. I wish you all the best darling, I know you'll pull through!
ReplyDeletexo
Maddie
http://littlestylebird.blogspot.com/
gorgeous jacket and hat!! so cute!!
ReplyDeletehttp://mychoicesaremystyle.blogspot.gr/
Great to hear that! Not the breaking up part, but the being reborn part. After days and weeks of sorrows, there comes a time when you have to get on your ass and get on with your life.Cheers to that :-)
ReplyDeleteAn honest post, I like. Most people are blogging about their new years resolutions and the things that people promise they will do they never do, so they are mostly illusion, things that never come true.
ReplyDeleteYour post is more down to earth because it's not the fairy little tale that most people like posting about on their blogs, at least it feels real to me.
Everyone goes through rough bumps in their lives, relationships and so on, I've gone through so so many, and I can tell you it never gets easier, but you get much tougher and it really helps you define who you really are, and realize that most people go through their lives pretending that they are something they never were or are, like a script, and never realize that they do this in order to please the rest of the people around them instead of themselves. It is a good thing to focus on yourself and just yourself sometimes you know, although thought as something selfish, it is one of the most selfless things you can do in your life.
Wait, what? I had no idea, and I do follow you on twitter, tumblr, everything. I hate break ups. I've actually been, or I guess the better word is was, talking to this guy for like a month, just a month, and he was really awesome and amazing, and then out of nowhere he let me know that he didn't want to be more than friends because he was transitioning and just a rough point in his life himself, and I know it's selfish, but I didn't care. I wanted to continue talking, and be more than friends, but like what? Dude, fuck you. I'm investing myself in you. Whatever. When he let me know, my heart sunk and I cried for hours. The sad part is that we had been talking for a month, right? And we still weren't dating.. So a five year thing and then breaking up.. I don't think I could handle that. I'm really emotional and probably a feminist's nightmare in this sense only because I am very co-dependent in relationships and stuff. I'm being way, way too honest in a public form on the internet, but I love you so much and don't even care. You are unbelievably beautiful, and nice, and hilarious, and dress flawlessly, like I can't even handle. He's missing out, even if you're pessimistic all the time (I am too), but who isn't? Like honestly? People who are bubbly and happy 24/7 must be blind because the world and America is a nightmare. AHGHHH okay, basically you are amazing. Move to LA/visit and model 4 me plz. Thanks. PS THIS OUTFIT IS GREAT AS ALWAYS, I MEAN, WHAT'S NEW?!
ReplyDeleteWow, I admire your honesty on this post!I too recently went through similar times but its getting better.If I was in America I would offer to help you shoot photos for your posts but Im in Ireland.Wishing you the best in the new year.:)
ReplyDeletehttp://kkitsch.tumblr.com/
Amazing look.
ReplyDeleteHappy new year!
xxx
I love how sporty this is...gorgeous girl!
ReplyDeleteohsokatieli
hey grrl... so feeling ya... i've been hiding in a hole myself cuz of life changes. i know doing stuff for yourself can be hard, but you have to do it! you are the only person you are stuck with you know? i suffer from the same thing such a damn pleaser arggghhhh
ReplyDeletelove you! remember you are amazing!!!
Hi dear! amazing 80's pics!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, follow now :)
Kiss from
http://finestradelnord.blogspot.com.es/
you are perfect.
ReplyDeleteVery cool!
ReplyDeletewww.constance-victoria.blogspot.com
x
love the way you write
ReplyDeleteYou look so hot in these pics,rewally cute & cool at the same time.
ReplyDeleteWondering if you would like to follow each other?
Please let me know! :) I follow back right away.
xoxo
missdoodlesworld.blogspot.com